I have a Post-It above my desk that reads:
I am CENTERED BY the work. Doing the work CENTERS me!
I am driven by my work. Whatever my work is.
Truthfully, I dislike promoting myself. But I believe in the work.
Writing poetry is about connecting on a deeper level, and I write to connect. To give someone something to connect to.
Poetry is neurodivergent. It thinks in a different way.
I was reading poems at a park yesterday, invited by the endlessly gracious Alyssandra Nighswonger, and I was the poet in between bands. What a privilege. What a delight. What an honor.
At one point, I told the audience I liked to have fun with my poems. And I do.
Someone afterwards said they liked hearing the language play. Poetry is language playing. It can be about serious topics, but my favorite poems are the ones that horse around with syntax and shit. Voice.
So when I get sick of myself, as I often do, because the auxiliary aspects of writing are not always thrilling, and sometimes I feel like it is too self-centered to have a career as a poet, I remind myself that I am doing it in service of the work.
Sometimes, it feels like something other than me is writing. Something wiser, truer, and even funnier. My higher self coming through.
It’s something that’s always been there. A drive to write. A compulsion in me to chew on language. (And it’s better if it’s fun.)
Poetry thinks in a different way. It opens us.
If I’m in service to the work, I want my work to be in service of the world.
So, in a roundabout way, I tell myself, maybe my poems will mean something to someone out there who I will never meet, as many poems have changed me. So, then, my work is to heal, write, and act.
We all have our work. I was at a political candidate forum last night, and I could see every person on that stage was doing their work. Their calling. Aspiring assembly members, city council members, and mayors. Even though I may be skeptical of politicians’ true motives, some of them seem so genuine that I couldn’t help but feel inspired by their calling. I could see their drive to make a difference, make an impact, and be of service. Why else would anyone want to work that hard? They’re tireless, campaigning and campaigning.
Their drive to service and my drive to service may look different, but I recognize the path of service.
My service is to spread poetic wisdom and delight. To keep the channel of creativity open. To shine a light upon the tool of writing as a way through the darkness.
Even when down in the darkest depths, poetry has always been there for me. Poetry, in a way, is my higher power. A higher power, I should say. I think I have many higher powers. Writing certainly comes from a higher power.
There are so many of us doing the work to change ourselves and change the world that I feel hopeful. It’s a sort of faith to lean into the voice of your calling.
As long as I live in service to the work, I trust that I will hear the next right step and I will take it.